Cardboard Crowns
by shadowswan
Summary: There's a reason she calls him 'kid'. There's a reason for the leather jackets. There's a reason she prefers to be a loner. Emma tries to pretend her past never happened but it still haunts her. Snapshots of Emma's life, from princess-playing six year old to car-jacking eighteen year old. There's a reason Emma won't believe in fairytales - because once upon a time, she did.
1. Six

_Disclaimer: Any characters, places, storylines etc. associated with Once Upon a Time or Disney are not mine.  
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_I must also give credit to the OUAT wiki - in trying to stay as true to Emma as possible, the site has been invaluable._

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_A/N: Hi! Thanks for clicking in! I've never written anything for OUAT before, so bear with me. Just before we start, keep in mind that I haven't watched any of S3, so anything of Emma's past that is mentioned there won't be written into this (also no spoilers please!). This story is just my interpretation of what happened in Emma's life before we met her stealing a car, and how she came to be the way she is. The title of each chapter is Emma's age at that moment in time.  
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Six

_October 22 1989_

"Blow the candle out, Emma! Make a wish!"

Emma Swan shut her eyes tightly, scrunched her whole face up in concentration, and wished as hard as she could. It was the same wish she always made. If there was an opportunity for wishing, she would wish. Emma was waiting for a shooting star; she'd heard they all but guaranteed it would come true.

"Yay, happy birthday!"

As she opened her eyes, blinking, Emma smiled at the happy faces and the mini round of applause she received. The little pink candle stuck in the cupcake she was holding had a few thin wisps still trailing from it, and the wax was about to slide right down on to the pink icing. Emma stuck a pudgy finger out to stop it, but before she could do anything, the cake was whisked away.

"Kai, give it back!" Emma screamed, as the boy ran out of the room cackling.

Trying to hold on to her crown and keep her dress gathered in one hand, as a princess should, Emma hurried after him.

"Emma, slow down," her foster father groaned as she bashed into the couch with a thud before continuing her relentless pursuit of the cake thief.

It was October 22nd, Emma's sixth birthday, and everyone was gathered in the living room to sing to Emma. Half-hearted decorations had been strung around the walls, mostly re-used bits from other parties.

She'd insisted that as it was her birthday, everyone should dress up, which was why she was currently having such a difficult time chasing after the annoying twelve-year-old boy she lived with. Much to her frustration, no one else had followed her instructions, so her princess party was falling a bit flat. Still, her foster parents had bought her a new set of dolls for her present, and some pretty outfits for them to wear. Her favourite was the long pink dress, which matched her own.

The dolls were currently having a tea party with Emma's teddy bears in her bedroom.

"Oh, Kai, give it up," Gerda yelled up the stairs to him, shaking her head at her younger brother's antics. "Emma's going to start crying."

"No I won't," Emma said, turning round to the older girl and frowning. Her chin was jutting out and her eyebrows furrowed, indignant at the idea of her crying over a cupcake.

Slowly their foster parents made their way out to the kitchen, happy to let the children fight it out amongst themselves. Kai was always winding the girls up, and if the worst came to it and he ate the cupcake, there were eleven more waiting in the wings.

"Emma never cries," said Melody, standing next to her friend with her hands on her hips.

Gerda looked at the two girls she'd come to affectionately regard as sisters. Though there was a ten year age gap, they did amuse her. Emma had blonde curly hair, was currently dressed in the puffiest pink dress with extra netting and silver sequins, and rarely parted with her crown and her wand. Melody's hair was dark and hung straight around her shoulders, and for the occasion had put on her best pair of camo print pants and a grey vest top. Chalk and cheese, and that was just their appearances. Emma, for all her prancing around, was the toughest little minx she'd ever come across, while Melody was afraid of everything.

They were inseparable though, and Gerda supposed it was cute. She'd miss the pair when she finally moved out, which she hoped would be soon.

"No, I don't," Emma nodded, grinning at Melody proudly. "And I will squash that cupcake into Kai's face if he doesn't give it me back."

"Pretty sure he's already squashed it into his mouth," Gerda said sympathetically.

"But it's rude to steal," Emma whined, stomping her foot on the floor. "And it's naughty."

"It's fun though!"

Emma squealed as her crown was lifted from her head. Sebastian, her least favourite person in the whole world, ran after Kai with the item in his hand, shaking it triumphantly. This time Emma saw red. Her bottom lip fell into a pout and she narrowed her eyes.

"Kai and Seb have stolen my cake and my crown," she wailed into the kitchen.

Gerda flopped down into the couch, opening the book she was in the middle of reading and tuning the madness out. She couldn't be bothered with eight and twelve-year old boys racing around the house. She wished they were older and just spent all of their time in their rooms, like her own male friends did.

Emma's snitching had the desired effect as her foster mother called the boys downstairs in a no-nonsense tone. Sheepishly they trudged back into the living room, handing Emma back her crown and her cake, with a suspicious chunk missing.

"Did you eat some of my cake?" she asked Kai pompously, holding it up to him to show the missing piece that revealed the fluffiness within.

"No."

"You have pink icing round your mouth," Gerda informed him, rolling her eyes.

Kai glared at his older sister for ratting him out.

"I am casting an evil curse on you," Emma informed him, waving her wand and smiling as the ribbons floated around.

Her wand was just a cardboard tube which her foster mother had painstakingly painted pink and purple and tied numerous ribbons to, and her crown was a cardboard affair too, but they were Emma's most prized possessions aside from the dress she was wearing today.

"What's it going to do?" Kai sneered.

In answer, Emma shoved the cupcake right into Kai's face, as promised. Melody started giggling and even Gerda sneered at her stunned-looking brother.

"She did warn you," Melody smiled, as he stomped into the kitchen.

"There's an evil curse on you too," Emma said, turning to Sebastian, who had his arms crossed and was quite red in the face from all of his running around. "You should never steal a princess' crown."

"Well you're not a real princess, so there," Seb retorted, sticking his tongue out at her.

"Yes I am," Emma said, strutting over to the other couch and curling up on it, Melody at her side.

The two girls sat there, cross-legged, and Melody began to braid Emma's hair as Emma settled her dress down so it fanned out around her. It was her favourite dress in the whole world, and she wanted to wear it forever.

"Her parents are Snow White and Prince Charming."

"Melody!" Emma hissed, turning to her and making her friend jump. "That was supposed to be a secret!"

"Sorry," Melody blushed, looking sheepish.

For years now, Emma had known the truth about her parents. She'd been given a huge book of fairytales one Christmas and she'd slowly read her way through them, dreaming of all the princesses and tracing the pretty illustrations of them. The story of Snow White was her favourite, and she was absolutely convinced that she belonged in that world. It was the only possible explanation for Emma's extensive knowledge of how to be a perfect princess. It just made sense.

"No they're not!" Seb cried, beginning to laugh. "You don't have any parents, or they don't want you, like the rest of us."

"Seb," Gerda said in a warning tone. "It's her birthday."

"They do want me, they just can't find me," Emma protested, defending herself. Melody nodded along frantically, fully subscribed to her best friend's theory on where her parents were. "They're stuck in a fairytale land but they're coming to find me as soon as they can."

"Babe, I don't think your parents are Snow White and Prince Charming," Gerda said gently, aware that Emma's lip was wobbling.

"Yes they are!" Emma insisted.

"Snow White doesn't have any children," Seb said, trying to wind her up. "She didn't even marry Prince Charming."

"Only in the book," Melody said, coming to her friend's rescue. "Obviously they got married afterwards. And then they had Emma. But something terrible happened and she got lost. They'll be back though, and Emma's promised I can go with her to fairytale land and live in her castle when they find her."

Emma grinned at her friend and the plan they'd come up with together, cheering up as she thought of the hundreds of drawings they'd made of the castle and their bedrooms and their dresses and their horses.

"Whatever," Seb said, mooching off to his room having tired of winding Emma up. "Only babies believe in fairytales."

"It isn't a fairytale," Emma shouted after him. "It's real!"

She'd just turned round to Melody to earnestly debate the topic some more when a cross voice sounded from the doorway.

"Emma Swan, we do not throw cake into people's faces."

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_A/N: So there we have it! It is quite short, but then it's incredibly difficult to write complicated ideas from the point of view of a six year old. The chapters should get longer and more interesting. Emma is hands down my favourite character in the show, and in this story I want to explain how she became the way she is, and where she picked up some of her belongings and personality traits. The story will get a little sadder as we move on. Just a few points - I don't really know how the foster system works in America, so if you spot any glaring flaws in the story, let me know. Also, all of my secondary characters are taken from somewhere in Disney versions of classic fairytales, as they're the versions the show uses. Sorry for the long AN. You'll get used to it. Follow me at 'bookemshadow' for updates, and reviews get a preview of next chapter. Thanks for reading! _:)_  
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	2. Seven

Seven

_May 18 1991_

Emma leaned her head back against the couch and sighed loudly. She was sat cross-legged on the floor next to Melody, while Kai, Seb and Alana had squashed themselves onto the sofa. Emma wasn't happy about being relegated to the floor, but in this household, age was everything.

When no one responded to her sigh and carried on watching the television, Emma sighed again, loudly and pointedly. Melody looked at her and Kai nudged her in the head with his foot to try and shut her up.

"What is it, Emma?" Alana asked, not taking her eyes away from the television. They were watching a terrible children's show but there was nothing else on that they all wanted to watch, and they had to take advantage of the fact their foster parents had let them take control of the television uninterrupted.

"I'm bored," Emma replied dramatically, dragging her vowels out.

"Go and play in your room then," Alana replied, without missing a beat.

Emma scowled. Alana usually dropped everything for Emma, unable to resist her cheeky smile and sassy nature. When Gerda left, Emma had been sad, and then when they'd been told someone else was coming to join them, she'd been annoyed. No one would be able to replace Gerda. Alana was nice though, and Emma had quickly warmed to her, especially when she'd immediately believed Emma's theory on where her parents were.

"Then I'll be lonely," Emma huffed, folding her arms and looking up at her beseechingly.

"Shut up, Emma, we're trying to watch the show," Kai grumbled, kicking the back of her head harder.

"Ouch, that hurt," Emma said angrily, standing up and facing him.

"Kai, say sorry," said Alana wearily.

"No."

Kai was permanently in a bad mood nowadays. Emma found it very tiresome. She thought it maybe had something to do with Gerda leaving.

"You could have killed me," Emma declared, frowning at him.

"Don't be an idiot. Now sit down so I can see the television again."

"I won't."

"Okay, Emma, why don't we go and play a game or something?" Alana intervened, and Melody hopped up, excited at the prospect.

"Yes," Emma celebrated, fist-pumping and high-fiving Melody. "Where can we go today?"

"What?" Alana asked, confused. "We can go to your room. Or mine, I suppose. But yours has more floor space to set out a board."

"I don't want to play a board game," Emma said, looking horrified.

"Board games are boring," Melody said, and Emma nodded vigorously.

"What do you want to do then?" asked Alana, confused.

"Go to another world," Emma said, her eyes shining. "And be the characters."

"And what world did you have in mind exactly?"

Emma and Melody looked at one another and smiled secretively. They'd just started reading a new fairytale together, and it had officially been written down on the list as one of their favourites. Every night the two girls jumped onto Emma's bed, Emma sat on her pillow, Melody cuddling the blanket at the other end. They would read the next part of which story they were on together, studying the pictures intently and occasionally pausing to put on the voices of the characters, before Melody crossed the room to her own bed and the girls settled down to sleep, discussing their favourite parts in the dark.

"Neverland!" they cheered together.

Peter Pan was one of the most exciting fairytales they'd ever come across. Pirates and mermaids and crocodiles and lost boys, and the magical notion of never growing up.

"Shut up!" Kai shouted at the latest noisy interruption.

"Kai, you're not even watching it anymore," Emma said, glaring at him.

"Why don't you just join in?" Alana suggested, trying to keep the peace as ever. "The more the merrier. You too, Seb."

The girls gasped, running round to stand in front of Seb and hitting him with the full force of their big eyes and cute faces.

"Come and play with us," Melody pleaded, sticking her bottom lip out. "You never play with us anymore."

"Please," Emma threw in for good measure, the two girls leaning in.

"Fine," Seb sighed, defeated. Playing a game was probably going to be more fun than watching whatever was on the television right now.

"Are you sure you don't want to join in?" Alana asked Kai as the two girls ran up the stairs screaming happily.

Kai sat there for a few moments, his arms folded, resolutely staring at the television. He wasn't focused on the show they were watching, he didn't even know what it was about, but he was determined to make a point. But then Melody and Emma came hurtling back downstairs, both dressed in stripy shirts and cut off leggings, a fancy dress costume from last year, with Melody's blue sheets trailing behind them.

Begrudgingly, Kai smiled at the scene.

"Fine, I'll play," he muttered.

Emma and Melody grinned, jumping up and down with each other and clapping at the same time.

"What on earth is this for?" Alana asked, holding up the corner of Melody's bedsheet.

"Well we're going to Neverland," Emma pointed out. "With the pirates. We need the sea."

"Right," she said slowly. She was still getting used to the balls of energy that were Melody and Emma, and she hadn't quite realised just how wild their imaginations were yet. She was beginning to understand though.

Together the five of them started spreading it over the worn, red carpet of the living room, giggling whenever one of them accidentally tripped up on the edge and rumpled it all up again. They finally stood back and surveyed the new blue patch of the floor.

"Well we'll need a pirate ship as well," Emma said, as if it was obvious.

"Of course we will," Alana laughed. "Come on boys, help me bring some of the chairs through from the other room."

Ten minutes later, Emma was strolling across a line of chairs, looking suitably impressed with what had been built.

"So, who's going to be what character?" Melody asked. "Oh, please can I be a mermaid? Please?"

"Yes," Alana nodded. "You can be a mermaid."

"I've always wanted to be a mermaid!" Melody said happily, in a sing-song voice. "I'm going to change into my mermaid costume! Don't start without me!"

She scampered upstairs, and Kai looked around with folded arms. If he was going to get involved in this, he was going to do it properly.

"Emma, you can play Wendy," he told her.

"Why?" Emma grumbled, hands on her hips.

"Because you're a girl," he pointed out, walking over to the chair she was stood on and looking up at her.

"I don't want to play Wendy. I want to be Captain Hook."

"But he's a boy."

"And he's the best."

"Captain Hook isn't the best," Seb snorted.

"I think he is. And I think it's fun that he has a hook for a hand."

"Having a hook instead of a hand isn't fun, it would just be annoying," Kai said, rolling his eyes.

"Let's let Emma be Captain Hook, because she was the one who first wanted to play," said Alana calmly.

"Okay," Kai shrugged, not having the energy to argue. "Seb, you're Wendy."

"What?" Seb protested loudly. "I'm not being Wendy! I'm a boy!"

"Well I'm a girl playing a boy, so you can be a boy playing a girl," Emma said happily, finding she was at the perfect height to pat his head.

"I'm already playing a pirate," Kai told him. "I'm Smee."

"Why can't Alana be Wendy?" Seb moaned.

"Alana's Peter, obviously."

"Wait, why am I Peter Pan? How is that obvious?"

"Because you can make us fly!" Melody cried, running into the room in full-blown mermaid costume, borrowed from one of her other favourite fairytales. With barely any warning, she hopped up onto the arm of the sofa and launched herself at Alana.

"Oof," was the noise Alana made as she managed to catch her in time, whirling her around and eliciting screams of delight from the girl.

"See," Melody said, beaming up at Alana as she was set back on the floor.

"Warn me, next time," Alana told her.

"There won't be a next time, mermaids don't fly, silly," said Melody, hopping back up to perch on the sofa. "I am now on my rock. I won't move unless I want to swim."

"You two take this way too seriously," Seb muttered, earning a flick to the ear from Emma.

"Okay, is everyone ready? Everyone in character?" Alana asked, feeling tired already. They hadn't even started.

"I don't have a hook," Emma said sadly.

"That's because you haven't lost one of your hands, stupid."

"Be nice," Alana told Seb. "Hang on, Emma."

She dashed away somewhere and returned with an old plastic coat hanger from the laundry room. Snapping the two long arms off, she handed Emma the rest of the plastic, with the metal hook on the end.

Emma looked at it as if it was the greatest present she'd ever received.

"Be careful, don't scratch yourself with it," Alana warned.

"Thank you," Emma sighed, gazing at it in wonder, then closing her hand around the plastic, letting the hook peek through her fingers.

"You're welcome."

"Okay," Emma said, standing up straight and starting to pretend to steer a ship. "Smee, where are you?"

Kai hopped up onto the chairs with her, and the game began.

Fifteen minutes later, after a very dramatic swordfight between Wendy and Smee, in which Wendy was particularly violent, almost forgetting that she was a young girl fighting a pirate for a moment, and a dramatic splash from Melody the mermaid, who was getting a little bored sat on her rock, Peter was trying to save Wendy from her fate.

"No, Wendy!" Alana cried, giving her all into the performance.

"Captain Hook has ordered you to walk off the plank," Kai told Seb, his pirate impression coming off as somewhat pompous. Alana tried to stifle a smile.

"Oh no, please don't make me, Hook," Seb said, falling to his knees in front of the chair Emma was stood on. "I'll do anything, I'll try and pay you back. Just don't make me walk the plank."

"Okay, Wendy," Emma smiled, patting him on the head with her makeshift hook hand while Seb continued to look disgruntled at the character he'd been given. "You don't have to walk off the plank. Wendy is free!"

"Wait, what?" Kai protested.

"What is it, Smee?" Emma grinned.

"No, pause the game a second. Wendy was supposed to walk off the plank," Kai said, wandering over and looking at Emma with a frown.

"Gee, thanks," Seb muttered, and Alana rolled her eyes.

"I have forgiven her, because I am nice," Emma said, with a flourish of her hook.

"You can't play a nice Captain Hook, Emma. You have to pretend to be mean and heartless."

"I don't know what heartless means," Emma told him, in a no-nonsense tone. "Can we go back to the game now?"

"It means he doesn't have a heart," Kai continued, ignoring her request. "Captain Hook is a villain, he's the bad guy. He isn't supposed to forgive people, he's supposed to fight them, because he doesn't have a heart."

"Well I think he does have a heart."

"Well you're wrong."

"You can't just go around accusing people of not having hearts, Kai!" Emma said indignantly. "Everyone has a heart, and everyone is nice. Including Captain Hook."

"You ruin everything," Kai huffed, jumping down off the chairs and kicking at the neatly laid out sheet.

The game was, apparently, over.

"Just because you think people are bad, and I think they're good!" Emma called after him, throwing her hook at his head and spectacularly missing.

"Oh wait until you're grown up, Emma," Kai said, shaking his head in the doorway and throwing her hook back at her. "People are mean, and people say mean things, and they steal, and they hurt people, and they lie-"

"No one lies! Maybe they aren't lying, maybe they're just pretending! That doesn't make them... heartless," she protested, bright red in the face from her anger.

Melody and Seb were watching this display quietly, with slightly amused expressions, while Alana was debating whether to get their foster parents involved. Throwing around snapped off bits of coat hangers probably wasn't the safest idea.

"What, like you're pretending to live in a stupid fairy world, where your parents are some king and queen?"

"That isn't pretending, that's the truth!"

Emma jumped off the chairs and started chasing after him, but Kai ran upstairs and they heard his door slam behind him. Slowly she retreated back into the room, leaving her abandoned hook on the floor and curling up next to Melody on the couch.

"You know that I'm not lying, don't you?" Emma said sadly to Melody, picking at the frayed edges of her leggings.

"Of course I do," she said sweetly, holding Emma's hand. "They'll come back for you, and we'll go back with them together, to be princesses, like we said."

"Alana, you believe me as well, right?"

Alana turned to the little blonde girl, with her scared eyes and downturned mouth. She was only seven, and Alana wasn't about to play the bad guy. She could carry on believing in fairytales for a little longer.

"Of course I do."

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_A/N: Hmmm, this might be one of the weaker chapters. Who knows? Feels like there's a lot of dialogue. Maybe you enjoyed it. But the next chapter should be good - marks the beginning of Emma's journey downhill. Let me know what you think, and get a preview of that next chapter for your troubles. Thank you for reading! _:)_  
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	3. Eight

Eight

_17 February 1992_

It was snowing outside.

Emma had always loved the snow. Not being out in it particularly, but just watching it. The way snowflakes landed and sparkled for just a second, the excitement when they stayed white, when they didn't melt away, and it meant the flakes were settling.

There was something magical about it, and Emma wasn't one to deny magic in her life.

Today though, the snow didn't seem as exciting as it usually did.

For Emma's wild imagination, snow represented so much more than just a change in the weather. The way everything suddenly turned white was like living in another world for a few days, and there was something so special about walking over untouched snow, leaving footprints, leaving a mark.

The last time she'd watched snow falling, it had been through her old window, in the bedroom she'd shared with Melody. It was an old house, set away from the main city, and their view was of the rolling fields that surrounded the house. In that old bay window, with the seat covered in tattered red cushion, darkened by age, Emma had been content. Catching the eye of her partner in crime every so often, the two of them grinning as they watched the snow fall.

Snowstorms had always been fascinating too. When it got dark, and they were in their pyjamas, snuggled up in their blankets watching. When the individual snowflakes were no longer distinguishable, all just getting lost in the swirling flurry that left inches of snow on the ground in minutes.

There was still something kind of magical about it, but it was like an evil magic, dark and beautiful at the same time.

Only light magic was around today though. The snow was falling softly, gently, and Emma could see each flake fall on her new windowsill.

The view wasn't nearly as exciting. For one thing, she no longer had a window seat, so she'd had to drag her desk chair over to kneel on it, her elbows on the cold wood of the sill, hands squashing her cheeks upwards. The chair was on wheels, so at any moment she was probably going to fly across the room and hit her head on the sill.

It was a risk she was willing to take to watch the snow though. She was happy to try and ignore the discomfort as well.

Having a desk chair was quite exciting, she supposed. She had her new bedroom all to herself, with her own desk, her own closet, her own bedside table. She felt very grown up, but at the same time, very young. It was like her new room was too grown up for her; there were no flowers painted on the wall, no dolls scattered across the room, no dress-up outfits hung from shelves.

She hadn't been allowed to bring her pink dress with her.

Emma had sobbed and sobbed, holding that beloved dress close to her and crying into it until she could barely breathe, staining all of the front with her tears. Her new foster parents had been adamant though; it no longer fit her, and so there was no point in keeping it. They would buy her a new wardrobe, with nicer clothes, and she could leave the old dress for another little girl.

Emma didn't want another girl to wear it though, so she'd just given it to Melody and asked her to hide it.

It made her sad to think of the dress, so she looked back at the snow.

The fields were gone too. This house was in a town, so rather than farmland, they were surrounded by a maze of roads, and hundreds of identical houses. The snow that settled on driveways was soon shovelled into ugly mounds on the side of front lawns, the snow on the roads turned to grey slush almost instantly.

It was hard to see the magic when it looked like this, but Emma tried her best. Instead of looking at the view ahead of her, she just concentrated on the thin sliver of windowsill outside, where the flakes fell untouched.

After falling all day, Emma was worried that the snow would soon stop, replaced by sunshine, or worse, cold, icy rain. For now though, she was content.

She'd been watching the snow for a few hours when someone knocked on her door. The sound made her jump, and her gasp left a mist on the window.

Emma stared at it, wanting to draw something with her finger before it faded away, but not knowing what exactly. Her and Melody had always played this game, creating masterpieces on windows throughout the house. As soon as one end of the window started to fade, they'd go back and fog it up again, continuing whatever picture they'd come up with today.

So many times they'd been yelled at by their foster mother, as she'd had to follow them with window-cleaner and a cloth. They always just giggled and run away.

Today, Emma didn't feel like creating a masterpiece. Drawing on windows wasn't so fun when she was by herself. It just made her feel lonelier than before. Instead she took her sleeve and rubbed all of the fog away, so she could see out of the window again.

It was still snowing.

She was pleased. The snow was the only thing she liked at the moment.

"Emma, would you like to come to the shops with me?"

The voice of her new foster mother rang through the door, shrill and sharp as ever. It had been two months, but she would never get used to it, nor would she ever like hearing it.

Emma didn't want to be here.

No one had warned her she'd be moving, it had just happened one day. Her old foster parents were going to visit family in another country for a long enough time that the house had to split. Alana had been the first to move out, and then it was Emma's turn. This was now her sixth house.

She couldn't really remember a lot from the time she'd been given back by her parents. When she'd been old enough to understand what had happened, it had made her sad that she wasn't wanted, but she couldn't really miss the people who had once been her parents, because she barely knew them.

For a while she'd stayed in an enormous house with loads and loads of children, before being moved to another house where she'd met Melody. The two of them had been moved together to her last house, where they'd happily stayed for a few years. Truthfully, Emma had always half-believed that she and Melody would just stay together until they were old enough to leave. That no matter how many times they moved, they'd move together, sharing a bedroom always.

Then they'd both go home to Emma's parents and live happily ever after.

Emma was starting to lose her faith in happy ever afters.

"No," she called back through the door eventually, her voice too heavy for an eight year old.

"Are you sure? You can choose the cereal we have this week."

"No," she repeated, not even looking in the direction of the door.

"Okay, I'll see you in a bit then," her foster mother replied.

There was a moment's pause before the stairs creaked as she walked back down. If she was waiting for an answer, she was waiting for no reason. Emma wasn't going to give her one.

She tried not to speak to anyone. She only left her room for school and for mealtimes. No one else here cared that much. The house was all girls, and everyone else had always lived here together. There were the two twins, Flora and something else beginning with F, and Emma rarely remembered who was who, a shy girl called Rose, and MW. Emma had never even bothered to ask what the initials stood for.

She didn't care.

Her new foster parents tried to encourage her to make friends with the girls, but she resisted all attempts. The girls didn't seem to be that interested in her, so they had an unspoken agreement that Emma would stay separate and no one would question it.

Emma didn't want new friends. She wanted Melody, or no one. Finding new friends would feel like replacing her. And if she made best friends with someone new and had to move again, what would she do then?

When she'd had to leave, Emma and Melody had clung onto each other for fifteen minutes until they'd been forced apart by their two sets of parents. Melody had been crying the whole time, but Emma tried not to. She didn't want to let her friend down. Emma had always been the one who didn't cry, no matter what happened. She'd already let herself down over the dress, so she'd toughed it out when she said goodbye to her best friend.

Then in the car on the way to her new house, she'd started sobbing.

Emma promised herself then that she didn't want any new friends, and she didn't need any.

Apparently nothing good in her life was ever meant to last, so there was no point ever getting her hopes up in the first place.

Shivering, Emma shuffled off her chair and padded across her very fluffy carpet to her closet to find a sweater. She still wasn't sure why this room felt so very uninviting, because there was nothing obviously wrong with it. In fact, everything seemed right. Her bed was big, the mattress squashy, the carpet tickled her feet every time she touched it, the furniture was all almost brand new.

It just didn't feel homely though. Emma didn't know what exactly it was missing, because she'd never had a proper home, with anything that particularly stood out as being necessary. Her last foster house had felt the most like home than anything before though, and she wondered if maybe the furniture wasn't so important. Home before had meant having friends, having someone who needed her and wanted to be around her. She didn't have that anymore.

Emma hadn't bothered to unpack any of her belongings, even this far down the line. Her clothes had been hung up for her, and her old school books were stacked on her desk, but everything else remained in the solitary cardboard box she'd brought with her. The only exceptions were the blanket tucked under one of her pillows, something she'd never slept without, and the storybook on her bedside table.

Hopping up onto the bed ready to read it again, Emma pulled the big wool sweater over her head, hit with a sad surprise when she could still smell the wash detergent they'd used at her old home. She obviously hadn't worn it since she'd left, and suddenly she was missing Melody and everyone else, even Kai, all over again.

There was another knock on the door, and Emma sighed.

Slowly it opened, and what she believed was Flora's head poked round the frame, an identical face just beneath. Fauna, Emma now remembered. Fauna.

"We're going to play outside," the girl said, her bright red coat buttoned right up, matching red rain boats firmly on.

"Do you want to come and build a snowman with us?" Fauna added, sporting a green coat.

The two girls didn't look particularly excited about asking her, more like they'd been forced to do so by their foster father probably. It wasn't that they didn't like Emma, more that they just didn't know her. A quiet girl, with bright blonde hair and one heck of a pout. That was all they knew about her.

"I'm alright thank you," Emma responded, barely looking at them.

"Are you sure?" Fauna asked, earning herself a nudge from her sister.

"Yes," Emma nodded, trying to smile at them but thinking she might not have succeeded.

"Okay," Flora called, already racing downstairs. "We'll be outside if you change your mind!"

Her door closed again, and she shook her head. No way would she change her mind. If she couldn't build a snowman with Melody and Gerda, she didn't want to build a snowman with anyone.

Instead Emma picked up the storybook on her bedside table and began reading it again.

It was the only one she'd been allowed to bring with her. Her new foster parents had tried to tell her she was getting a little too old for fairytales, especially children's versions like the one she had. There was no way Emma was leaving this behind though. Dog eared and tattered it may be, but it was also her favourite story, and the only thing that could make her smile again. When she read it, her imagination sparked, and she wasn't as sad about leaving her old house.

Emma flipped the cover open and began reading, feeling the familiar thrill when the Evil Queen demanded the Huntsman to bring her back a heart.

Outside, the snow continued to fall.

* * *

_A/N: It's Snowing. Hehe. Hi! Sorry I've been away for so long, I've had exams but I didn't want to post an author's note to let you know because they're so annoying, right? But now I'm back, and this will be updated regularly again. Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter - while not a lot happened, I quite like how it turned out, feels a little better-written than the other chapters. Next chapter we're back to action! Find me on twitter/tumblr at 'bookemshadow', and if you want to see me write anything, that's the place to let me know. Thanks for reading, and reviews get previews of next chapter _:)


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